This weekend saw me venture for the first time into the land of trying on wedding dresses......and let me tell you it is not as much fun as I thought.
My dream dress was a vintage lace creation with tiny cap sleeve and a small train or...failing that a 1950's prom dress. In the first shop that I had made an appointment in I choses an armful of dresses, sat Mother Hummingbird down with some bubbly and prepared to make her cry with the view of me...her only daughter...in a wedding dress.
The first dress I tried on was infact my 'dream dress'....after I had spent a good five minutes struggling into this dress (no help from the owner I might add) I threw back the curtain to have a look only to find that I look about a foot shorter that I actually am and FAT....it was not a good look.
After trying on a few more it turns out that lace is not the way to go if you are very short and very curvy....who knew!!
So then I started trying on EVERYTHING...from dresses so ridiculous that I couldn't even walk as they were so heavy to those so tight that sitting down would be impossible.
I left the shop announcing that all wedding dresses look rubbish on me and proceeded to get drunk..!!!
The next day...refusing to give up we went to another bridal shop....to be honest I did not hold out much hope....but it was WONDERFUL.
The girls in the shop we so lovely and helped me in and out of each dress although it was sightly mortifying standing there in non matching undies...note to self...always wear matching underwear from now on..!!
After they had laced me into the dress I would go and stand on a podium to see the dress in all it's splendor and...to be honest...they all look totally amazing until I stepped off the podium and lost a good foot in height....then I looked like a hobbit in a wedding dress.
Out of all of them this was my favourite.....
...it looked amazing on but what you have to realise is that I am so short that this dress was resting just above my ankles and when I stepped off the podium I looked like a wide toilet roll cover that my Nan used to have.
So it turns out that what I thought suited me is actually completely wrong and instead of a big bold 1950's dress I actually need a sleek elegant dress that will slim me down and make me look taller......either that or I get my legs extended..!!